Nestled between the Valley of Questionable Decisions and the Sea of Slightly Spoiled Milk lies the whimsical, kaleidoscopic Kingdom of Blunderstone. Once ruled by a sentient bonsai tree named Kevin the Wise, Blunderstone has always prided itself on being delightfully absurd.
Born during the Festival of Unusual Weather, Zares arrived under a sky of backward lightning and sideways fish rain. He emerged with curly hair shaped like a question mark and a duck-shaped birthmark. His parents:
As a child, he:
At 13¾, Zares enrolled in the Academy of Almost-Knights. He majored in Accidental Acrobatics, Psychological Confusion Warfare, and Goat Maintenance. He was knighted early after defeating a tomato golem with mayo and off-key flute playing.
When the Fog of Gloom arrived, only Zares was fool enough to answer the Queen’s enchanted mirror call. He created Zarjutsu (dance combat), rained confetti with clouds, and defeated gloom with jazz hands and jokes.
The Church of Chaotic Cheer believes:
Pilgrims now seek the Sacred Accordion, an instrument used to banish gloom and defeat the Wailing Bureaucrat.
Last seen entering the Mirror Labyrinth of Self-Doubt with Gregory and a kazoo-playing cactus, Zares seeks the Monkey of Toner—guardian of all printed wisdom. His fate is unknown, but rumors say:
“Wherever someone sighs without cheese, wherever gloom dares to sneeze—Sir Zares shall ride, with goat and grin, and madness wrapped in valor within.”